Children of the Cult
by LeekAbuse
Summary: After moving to the quiet little mountain town of South Park four years ago, fourteen-year-old Tanwen Drachen is about to uncover a secret the world isn't ready to know - the Children of the Cult.
1. The Children of the Cult

Tanwen was bored.

Bored as hell. She flicked a piece of paper from one hand to the other on the desk in front of her, chin resting on the cold wood. Beside her Kenny McCormick was reading a porn magazine under his own table, which she had trouble averting her eyes from.

God, could men really do that...?

Wait, why was Kenny even looking at that? Oh, thank God, he turned the page.

She returned her attention to flicking the piece of paper, just as a larger crumpled-up A4 sheet landed in front of her nose, with the words "_HEY TAFFY!_" scrawled on it in messy handwriting. Tanwen shot an apprehensive look at her best friend Kid, who gave her a grin as wide as Jupiter, then unfolded it and read it under the table.

'_Yo, yo, Taffy! Sorry I couldn't talk to you until break, but I have this super speshul cool news! I know where the massive ultra-fantastic party is that everyone is talking about!'_

Tanwen scrawled '_Where? Tell me!_' on the bottom of the paper and flicked it back. Kid caught it neatly and opened it eagerly.

She scribbled something then flicked it back, grin widening to impossible lengths.

'_You've got five guesses'_

Tanwen bit her lip then scribbled down '_one of the warehouses, Kenny's garage, town hall, theme park, Stark's Pond_.'

Flick.

'_Ha-ha, right on! It's warehouse 99, the really old one down on the industrial state. It's fancy dress, too'_

Flick.

'_Pfffft yeah. Hey, wanna play Guess what everyone else is wearing instead of doing these math problems?_'

Flick.

'_Hell yes! I bet Cartman wears a leotard_.'

Tanwen burst into hysterical laughter and only just managed to shove the note up the sleeve of her leather jacket before Mr. Garrison turned around with the most furious possible face a teacher could have.

"Care to share what you find so funny, Miss. Drachen?" he said, the calm before the storm.

"I don't find anything funny, sir," replied Tanwen with a perfectly straight face. "I was simply unable to suppress joy at completing a particularly difficult problem, sir."

Mr. Garrison couldn't find an answer to that, and so returned to the board to scrawl more crap about Miley Cyrus being a slut on it. Not willing to risk a lunchtime detention to pass another note, Kid gave Tanwen the thumbs up. Tanwen grinned in return before returning to playing with her scrap of paper and avoiding Kenny's magazine.

Tanwen slid into her place beside Kid, Angelica and Addy at the canteen table, having begged a larger than normal portion of fish and chips off Chef. As always Angelica was hitting on any boy who walked past whom was unfortunate enough to have a decent backside, whilst Addy read a Biology book with a fork full of salad halfway to her mouth, and Kid wolfing down her own lunch like a ravenous dinosaur.

Angelica had been voted the perviest person in the group the previous weak, with Tanwen coming in a very, very close second, and she was certainly living up to her standards. Kyle Brofloski yelped as he walked past, and Angelica leapt back and slapped his backside with one hand. Kid giggled. "Dude, I wish you'd seen his face then."

"I wasn't looking at his face," said Angelica with a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows, and then returned to eating her dinner.

"So," said Addy, finally realising her fork was in midair, "we're all going to this party tomorrow, yeah?"

"Most definitely. I can't wait to find my costume! Yo, Tanwen, what are you going as?" Kid's eyes sparkled with a glitter of mischievousness that the other three missed.

"Red dragon, duh."

"A kitty," said Angelica without hesitation.

"Eh. I'll go as a dog, then," said Addy quietly.

"Awesome! I'm going as a sunflower!" beamed Kid. The other three just gave her a long, hard look.

"You've got to be kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not." Kid leaned forwards. "And do you know what's even better about this party?"

The other three leaned towards her, apart from Addy, whom was picking at her salad. "What?"

"You can't tell anyone else who you are. You've got to disguise yourself so no-one can tell, and if they guess, you have to host the next party!"

"Damn! But I just told you what I'm going as!" whined Angelica. "That's no fair, Kid!"

"Calm down, Angelica! No one else but us four heard each other say that. So we've gotta group together, right?"

"Super awesome right," said Tanwen, nodding. "I've got different coloured masks in my bedroom from last Halloween we can use. No-one will find out who we are – no-one!"

The next day – a Friday – dragged past like fingernails scraping down a blackboard. The entire body of Y9 students in South Park Elementary went about their classes with a low buzz the teachers had learnt to fear, certain friend groups talking to each other in low whispers and eyeing anyone who came near with distrust.

When the hometime bell finally rang, Kid announced the end of the school day with an almighty scream of "PARTY TIME!" leapt up onto her desk and ran out of the classroom with a hoard of yelling students following.

Tanwen, Kid, Angelica and Addy rushed to Tanwen's house after escaping out of their windows at precisely eight o'clock that night, their costumes safely hidden away in makeshift shopping bags or backpacks. Tanwen opened her window quietly and handed them the half-face masks as they clambered in. They got dressed in the dark, afraid of alerting Tanwen's parents.

"Remembers, guys," whispered Kid quietly, adjusting the row of bright yellow petals around her face and sliding her mask into position. "Disguise your voices, and do not give yourselves away. Or Angelica will sneak into your room at night and molest you."

"Oi!" argued Angelica quietly. The other three muffled their giggles with the back of their gloves and the four friends slid from Tanwen's bedroom window, landing with a soft thud in the snow below and making their way down to the industrial state.

The thumping bass of music more commonly found in nightclubs greeted the four as they approached the door of warehouse 99. When they opened it, they were almost blasted of their feet. They hurried inside and slammed the door shut.

It seemed every single student from Y9 had come to the party, dressed up in every variation of costume humanly possible. Someone had secretly rigged the rafters of the old warehouse with flashing dance lights, and a row of tables to the right of the hall were loaded with refreshments, strobe lights, wristbands, sparklers and God knows what else. The left and centre of the warehouse was filled by a large dancefloor, whilst what looked like a row of beaten-up sofas were being used as a lounge room near to the door. At the far side of the warehouse, a tall, unidentifiable boy dressed in shimmering silver tinfoil and white ribbons worked at the DJ table, his laptop logged onto Grooveshark, attached to speakers and blasting out music of his choice at a prodigious rate.

Kid, dressed as a tall, creepy sunflower, Tanwen, dressed fully in a red leather dragon suit with scales, clawed gloves, a spiked hood and even a pointed tail, Angelica dressed in a rather skimpy black cat costume, and Addy dressed in a furry brown and white dog costume, shuffled warily into the almost-empty lounge room and sat down.

"Whoa," said Angelica, careful to disguise her voice. "Whoever is hosting this party went full-on."

"I bet it's Token." Addy was quiet. "He's the only one rich enough to do this."

"Oh well." Tanwen stood up, and went over to the dancefloor. "Might as well go dance."

Just as she stepped into the fray, the door behind her opened with a quiet creak. Those who heard it turned and immediately stopped dancing, their eyes wide.

Confused by the group of about sixteen people around her that had stopped dancing or just generally chatting to each other, Tanwen turned on her heel, eyebrows raised under her red mask.

There, standing in the open doorway with his hands crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his masked face, was Mysterion.

Tanwen swallowed and froze in place. Was he here to alert the police and arrest them all? The last thing she needed was to be involved in some sort of student brawl. Her parents were thick enough as it was.

Mysterion stood there for a moment, as if spreading fear throughout the crowd, and then turned and shut the door. He sent a hard glance at the small crowd who was staring at him, and they turned away, muttering amongst themselves. He passed by Tanwen on his way to the tables and gave her the briefest of looks.

His eyes were blue.

Tanwen moved aside and went back to her friends. "Whoa, Dragoon," said Kid, using the name they had sorted out for Tanwen. "That was freaky."

"Yeah." Tanwen shot a glance after the South Park vigilante, scratching the bridge of her nose in confusion. "I wonder what he's doing here, though. That might not even be the real Mysterion. I mean... Mysterion retired, like, four years ago after that weird Cthlulu thing."

"It's a good costume, if it isn't him," said Addy, nodding her head. "And if it is, we're probably all screwed."

"Or it means he's back," said Angelica quietly. "This probably means something terrible has happened."

Tanwen swallowed nervously, clasping her hands on her lap as she sat down. "Let's just put it behind us," she said. "Let's come up with some song ideas so we can ask the DJ. Sunflower?" she asked politely, looking at her friend.

Kid grinned. "Oh, I have a _wonderful_ song idea," she said with the creepiest possible grin.


	2. Death Is Temporary

Tanwen had drunk way too much Cola. She slumped down in one of the lounge chairs, her entire body fizzing with an overdose of sugar. A miserable-looking boy dressed as a pirate sat beside her, arms folded over his chest.

She looked at him. She swore she'd seen him before, but she couldn't quite guess his identity. "Some wild party, huh?" she asked him, disguising her voice.

"It's a load of bullshit," said the pirate, disguising his voice as well. "Decaf asked me to dance, but I really can't be bothered."

"Decaf?" Tanwen sniggered. "That's a good one. And what's your name, then? Jolly Roger?"

"Dutchman," said the pirate unhappily.

"Dragoon. Pleased to meetcha, Dutchman," said Tanwen with a grin. "Y'know, I really can't guess who you are." God, her stomach was really starting to bubble from all that Cola.

"That's a good thing," said Dutchman flatly. "So, you didn't want to dance either, huh?"

"I had a go. I almost decapitated this kid dressed as a vampire though."

"Good. I hate Twilight," said Dutchman with a note of finality. Tanwen nodded her head.

"I completely agree with you."

There was a loud bang and the sound of what seemed like someone setting a flare gun off. A few people screamed, but through the throng of people, Tanwen couldn't see what was happening.

Dutchman shifted slightly. "God, they're so noisy."

Tanwen frowned and craned her neck to try and look through the crowd. The screams were getting louder, and another, louder bang went off, but there was no flare. "I don't think it's them making that noise..." she said quietly.

A few people ran by, and then the crowd bulged outwards as people backed away. Dutchman and Tanwen leapt to their feet. "What the bloody hell...?"

Three men with guns had stormed through the door of warehouse 99 and were firing warning shots at the feet of the students. It was just their luck that the warehouse had only one door. A few students dived under the tables in fear and hid, shivering, as the masked men screamed and fired their guns wildly.

"This is a hostage situation!" yelled the leader of the gang. "You will line up in an orderly fashion! Anyone who tries to escape or fight back will be shot!"

"Holy fuck!" Dutchman leapt up with a shout, and dived behind one of the sofas as a gangster turned and fired at him. Tanwen screamed and ran, and there was a swish of a cape and she stopped, confused, as Mysterion ran past her, yelling: "Oi! Pussies!" at the top of his raspy disguise voice.

The gangsters opened fire, and two bullets went clean through Mysterion's left arm. He must have been a madman, or had a very high pain threshold, for he kept running towards them, pulling his good arm back to punch the closest in the gut. Emboldened by the vigilante – if it was the real Mysterion – several students fled past the confused gangsters and made it out of the warehouse before the leader of the gang slammed the door shut and stood in front of it, holding his gun tightly with one hand.

Tanwen had resumed running and was only a few feet away from the door when the lead gangster stepped in front of it. He spun around and fired his pistol, and it was like being punched by an iron fist. Gaping in shock, Tanwen staggered backwards and fell to her knees, unsure of where the bullet had hit.

She was gripping her side as she fell, and, as her hand came away to steady herself, her red leather gloves dripped crimson as if melting. The acrid smell of blood reached her nose and her stomach gurgled unpleasantly.

She was amazed at the fact she couldn't feel the pain. Her eyesight blackened as she turned slightly, searching for Kid, Angelica and Addy, and, unable to see them, she fell on her back, her head spinning.

It was like a stone was embedded in her side – a stone than kept getting bigger and bigger, turning her body to a numb crystalline form. Her hearing failed, and then her eyesight flickered and faded into black.

Tanwen died.

**OMFG CLIFFHANGER OTL.**

**Wow. Two uploads in ONE DAY. I'm actually starting to feel a little bit proud of myself.**


	3. The Madness Inside

"Tanwen? Dude, Tanwen!"

"Oh my God! She's alive!"

Tanwen felt hands grab her shoulders and shake her, roughly. A numb, nonexistent pain on her left thigh jolted her into wakefulness, and her eyes snapped open, her lungs desperately dragging in air with a loud gasp.

Kid, Angelica and Addy, all still in their costumes, looked down at her in shock. The ground – no, wait – material below her was soft instead of hard like the floor of warehouse 99. Confused, she craned her neck to look around her.

Her bedroom. She was in her bedroom, lying on her bed, with her usual clothes on, right down to her beaten-up red converses.

So why were her three friends still in their costumes?

"What..." Her throat, which felt like it hadn't been given water in almost a month, stopped her from speaking, so she swallowed painfully and tried again. "What happened?"

"You died dude!" Kid's mask was lopsided over her nose and the petals of her costume were bent. "You fucking died! Right in front of us!"

"You seriously did, Tanwen," said Addy anxiously. "After Mysterion rushed the gang members, a few people escaped out the door. You ran, too, but one of the gangsters got there before you and closed it. He shot you before you could move, and you died."

"The police got there a few minutes after you were killed," said Angelica. "The gang members didn't hear them coming over the screaming of all the kids, and the police shot them dead. The students were all in costume so the police couldn't tell who they were, so they knocked the police down and ran into the woods. They're probably all home by now.

"We came to your house to tell your parents you'd been shot. They weren't here, so we came upstairs, and your bedroom light was on. And you were just... lying here."

"But... I was at the party." Tanwen stretched, her spine giving an ominous click as she attempted to move, still leaden down by shock and a numbing sensation in her left thigh. "I was sitting next to this guy called Dutchman when the gang broke in. I ran. I got shot."

"We _know_." Addy's eyes were glimmering with a mixture of tears and shock. "Tanwen, you _died_. How can you be here?"

Tanwen sat up. "I... I don't know. I really don't. All I can remember is this flash of red light, and then... And then you woke me up."

"This is weird." Kid stood up, straightening her face-mask. "This is really, really, _really_ weird."

Tanwen clambered slowly out of bed, feeling some semblance of feeling return to her limbs. She flexed her fingers and her toes, pinched her cheeks to make sure she wasn't dreaming, and cracked her knuckles. No. She was really here. It had really happened.

"Oh, God." She said, sinking back into her bed and holding her head between her hands. "Oh God. No fucking _way_."

"Taffy?" piped up Angelica nervously. "Are... Are you feeling alright?"

Tanwen ran her hands down her face and dropped them onto her lap, looking at her friends and trying to smile. "I'm fine. I'm really fine. Look, I'm tired... I'll see you tomorrow, Saturday, right?"

"Yeah." Addy tugged on Kid and Angelica's arms and they went to the door. "We'll see you tomorrow, Taffy. Don't worry – we'll get to the bottom of this weirdness."

"Thanks." The door closed with a click and the house became silent. Tanwen fell back onto her bed, her head hitting the pillow with a thud, and tried to make sense of what had just happened.

She was so tired, she couldn't even fall asleep. She stood like one dead and drifted over to her wardrobe. Upon opening it, she muffled a gasp with the back of her hand.

Her red leather dragon costume, completely intact, hanging from a coat hanger behind her favourite bomber jacket. She reached out and touched the leather with one hand, running her fingers over the scaly texture.

She was certain this colour was the blast of light she'd seen after her 'death.' If the light had had a texture, it would have been scaly, she was sure.

The tiniest of grins uplifted the corners of her mouth. The grin soon became a chuckle, which evolved into a maniacal, rasping cackle. Tanwen held her sides as she laughed, one hand outstretched towards her costume.

She had died.

But she couldn't be killed.

**Pfffft Tanwen's such a crazy biatch OTL**

**Plz review if you want this REALLY WEIRD story to continue! It'll be lighter-hearted next chapter, I promise.**


	4. Kenny And A Snowball Fight

The next day Tanwen's alarm clock rang at exactly ten o'clock. She got up, brushed her teeth, had a shower, got dressed, and did everything possibly to avoid the costume in the wardrobe and every aching memory of the previous night.

It had been a good party, after all. It just hadn't ended the way Tanwen had expected it too.

She wondered what happened to the Mysterion kid. If it had been the real Mysterion, then he was probably alright. In fact, she wasn't harbouring any doubts now. She hadn't been living in South Park when Mysterion was around, but he came up every now and then in conversations, and he always sounded like a powerful guy. So there was absolutely no way he was harmed.

After all, he took two bullets to the arm and kept on running, didn't he?

Tanwen pulled on her favourite red wellingtons – it's probably obvious by now that her favourite colour is red – and the doorbell rang. She answered it, and Kid was at the doorway, whilst behind her a bicycle had been carelessly tossed into the snow, the wheels still spinning. Angelica and Addy waited on the pavement, their own bikes glistening in the new morning snow.

"Hey, Taffy!" said Kid breathlessly, her face red from the downhill plummet to Tanwen's house. "We're cycling down to Stark's Pond, and then we're going to ambush Cartman and his lot with snowballs. You wanna come?"

Tanwen grinned. "Hell yes. Hey, about last night..."

Kid paused briefly on the bottom doorstop, her eyebrows shooting to her hairline in an anxious glance. "Err, yes?"

"Did anyone get found out? I mean, did anyone's identity get guessed?"

"Huh? Oh!" Kid looked relieved. "Yeah. Cartman, Tweek and Pip got found out. Cartman's an asshole and Tweek's hell paranoid, so Pip's holding the next party. It's going to be another costume-themed one, apparently, since last night's party was really fun... Err, for a while."

"Cool. Alright, I'm coming now." Tanwen ducked back inside the house. As they usually were most mornings, her two parents were sitting sternly beside each other on the sofa in the front room. They didn't notice Tanwen run back upstairs and snatch a handful of bank notes from her mother's dressing table and leg it out of the front door.

She tugged her bike from the garage and shoved the money into the pocket of her jacket. "Alright, let's go throw some snowballs at fatass!" she hollered. The other three yelled in agreement and they set off with a spray of wheel-thrown snow.

As it was every Saturday morning, Stark's Pond was packed full of kids and anxious adults. The other thirteen-year-olds from Tanwen's grade were on the right, larger, deeper side of Stark's Pond, where the smaller kids weren't allowed to go.

Cartman's gang were sitting by their usual fallen tree, sprawled across its frozen branches and guffawing loudly. Tanwen, Kid, Angelica and Addy left their bikes in the safekeeping of one of the adults and crept up on Cartman's group from the west, where they couldn't see them over the massive fallen tree.

They scooped up snow in their hands and prepared to strike. Tanwen leapt up onto the branch with a screech of "Snowball fight!" and launched the flying projectile at Cartman. It hit the surprised boy in the back of the head and he stumbled, before yelling "Ay! Stupid bitch!" grabbing some snow from by his feet and lobbing it back at her. Tanwen laughed and ducked down behind the tree, just as the other three leapt up and hit Kenny, Kyle and Stan in quick succession.

It soon turned into an all-out war. Tanwen and her friends held the west side of the fallen tree, Cartman and his gang the east. Snowballs flew overhead like bullets from a machine gun and Tanwen laughed as one hit her in the shoulder, before popping back up with the aid of a branch and looking for another target. Stan was attempting to clamber over onto their side, so she knocked him back with a snowball to the shoulder, and dropped back out of range before she could get hit.

Kenny suddenly appeared at the top of the fallen tree with a speed un-proportionate to his age and ran along the top, avoiding snowballs and branches with well-timed dodges. Confused as to how he could move so quickly, Tanwen tossed snowball after snowball at the skinny blonde, but he dodged each one before jumping off the end of the fallen tree and attacking them with flailing arms.

Snow flew all around them and Tanwen and her friends fell back as Kenny led his group to victory. They fled with theatrical laughs and cried: "We'll be back, fatso!" as they ran for their bikes.

Kenny popped up right in front of Tanwen as she slung her leg over hers. He slammed a handful of snow into her face, making her gasp in surprise.

"Gotcha," he said, with a grin, then vanished, running full speed back to his friends as a furious Tanwen lobbed a barrage of badly aimed snow after him.

"Awww," whined Kid, picking loose bits of melting slush from the front of her coat. "I can't believe we lost that. Did you see Kenny climb that tree? He was like a flipping cat!"

"Meow!" said Angelica suggestively, and they all started to giggle, almost crashing their bikes into a pick-up truck as they drove into town. The driver beeped the horn angrily as they swerved to avoid him.

They cycled past the South Park theme park, looking with longing at its locked gates. "Just two more weeks, guys," said Tanwen with a sigh. "And this place will be open!"

"Whoo!" Kid let go of her handlebars and flung her feet forwards, zooming past them downhill. With cries of "Oi! Wait!" the other three girls pedalled as fast as they could after their vanishing friend, throwing snow over the newly-cleared pavement.

None of them noticed the tiny, dark hut hidden away beside the theme park's gates. There was no need to. It had nothing to do with them.

But soon, it would.


	5. Tweek Can Box and The Master Plan

Mysterion leapt down from the building with a grace that befitted his superhero identity. Anyone from the old days whom had grown up around the mystery of Mysterion would have been surprised at his new appearance – his pants-over-trousers style had gone, and his cape wasn't as floppy and ragged as his old one.

He obviously thought that first impressions were important ones.

The Coon waddled out from behind one of the dustbins and gave him the evillest eye humanly possible. "Well, I must say its nice working together again, asslicker."

Mysterion glared back. "I'm not going to forget how our last little escapade ended, Cartman. Just because Mintberry Crunch stepped in doesn't mean I don't want to kick your ass." His rasping disguise voice had matured slightly with age.

"Whatever." The Coon waved the matter aside with a flick of his hand, his metal claws glinting menacingly. "We're here on cooperative grounds only. Now, as I'm sure you know, the location of another cult has sprung up, near the new theme park -"

Mysterion nearly leapt on his comrade. "No, I didn't know! What cult? Who is their deity? Is there any children associated with it?"

"Pfffft. Calm down, faggot," the Coon replied with a glare. "It's only a small cult, and I don't know of any children that are related to it." He gave a small sigh and folded his arms across his ample chest. "Look, this whole 'hunting down cults' thing is stupid. Why can't we go back to beating up rapists and murderers?"

"Because this is more important!" protested Mysterion, his eyes glimmering. "Because of your contact with Cthlulu you remember when I _die_, so you're a handy tool in this operation. Try and take this seriously, Cartman. There are thousands of different cults around the world – and all could have children like me."

The Coon raised an eyebrow. "I still don't get it."

Mysterion looked angry enough to tear his own hair out, although he wasn't going to let his hood slip, just in case any passers-by glimpsed his identity. "Listen and I'll explain fatass. My parents attended the cult of Cthlulu when my mother was pregnant with me – mainly because of the free beer. The leader of the cult – that creepy dude – told them the cult needed an immortal child for the summoning of Cthlulu. See, only an immortal can kill another immortal, so, if Cthlulu turned against the cult when they summoned him, I was their wildcard. My parents were drunk, so they agreed. That's why I can't die. That's why I challenged Cthlulu."

Cartman rubbed his chin with one hand, scrutinising his wound-up comrade sternly. "I see. So we're hunting down cults just in case they've got their own immortal child? Why?"

"Because," said Mysterion with a hiss, "not all immortal children may use their powers for good, like I do. Some will use it to harm others. And seeming I'm the only person who can kill them for good, I've got to do something about it, haven't I?"

Craig Tucker was an asshole.

But he was still a pretty awesome guy. Tanwen's group of tomboyish friends and his gang of freaks had an unofficial alliance between them and a long-held rivalry against Cartman and his group, although Tanwen's gang's hatred was more centred on the hippy-killing neo-Nazi than Kyle, Stan and Kenny.

Tweek and Tanwen had teamed up to cover the right forward corner of the playground, Craig and Addy the front. Clyde and Angelica held the rear right corner, Token and Kid the left. They were planning to ambush Cartman and his gang.

Tweek was the most adorable, high-strung, paranoid, caffeine-addicted retard Tanwen had ever met, but damn, could he punch. Tanwen had been on the receiving end of one of his furious fists only a few weeks after moving to the school, where she had been set up to fight the twitchy blonde for fifty quid (should she win). To put it straight, she'd been knocked out cold for several hours, and then woke up to find Tweek Tweak hovering beside her bed with a bouquet of flowers and the most _wibbly_ apologetic face imaginable.

Tanwen was a sucker for cute things, so she forgave him immediately. And, from him, she had learnt the basics of a good punch, which she saved for Cartman's face whenever he pissed her off. Should Cartman and his gang walk past their side of the playground, Tanwen and Tweek would unleash hell on them. Quite literally.

Of course, because of their luck, it was Angelica and Clyde they walked past. Angelica took a long rockstar skid and knocked the legs out from beneath Stan and Kyle, causing them to land in a cursing heap, threw a punch at Kenny (_who dodged_) and then she and Clyde grabbed hold of Cartman's fat arms and yelled: "Craig! Tanwen! _Got 'im_!"

"Goddamn hippie _bitch_!" yelled Cartman as the other six descended on him. Craig raised the sock above his head with a look of terrifying glee.

"**SOCKBATH**!"

Socks filled with crushed soap and dipped in freezing cold water were whacked against Cartman's unprotected body again and again whilst he was held down by Angelica and Clyde. Spluttering curses and death threats as soap bubbles formed like a white mountain all over his face and jacket, he seemed determined to kill Kyle, Stan and Kenny with his bare fists, whom stood a few metres away, laughing their asses off.

After a good, all-round beating, he was released and half-fled, half-crawled after the rest of his gang, screaming at the top of his voice. "_I'll kill you, you traitorous hippie asslicking Jew mutants!_"

Tanwen and Craig slapped a high five. Tanwen grinned. "That was the _best _yet. Thanks for helping me get back at him."

Craig doffed his hat with a smirk. "Anytime, Welsh-y. Glad to be of service, though – that dead-rat-in-locker prank he pulled on you was pretty harsh."

Tanwen wrinkled her nose. "I know. It friggin' _stank_."

Craig's evil smirk widened. "I say, our two gangs work together quite well as a team. I might just let you in on our _super-evil plan_!"

"GAH!" Tweek twitched and grabbed hold of Tanwen's free arm desperately. "_I_ still think it's a b-bad idea!"

"Pfffft." Craig rolled his eyes, and then beckoned the rest of the two teams together in a tight shoulder-to-shoulder circle. "Look, this evening, at exactly nine o'clock, I and m'boys are going to play a grand old trick on good sir fatass over there. It's going to be dangerous, illegal, and possibly very, _very _stupid, so I want your word you won't tell anyone before we tell you, got it?"

Tanwen exchanged glances with Kid, Addy and Angelica. Addy nodded seriously. "Go ahead, Tucker. It's not like we haven't been in shitloads of trouble before."

"Alright." Craig's signature serious face replaced his victorious smirk and he lowered his voice. "Like I said, at exactly nine o'clock tonight, me and my lot are sneaking out and meeting up on the mountain ridge above Stark's Pond.

"We've got a huge stash of toilet paper, streamers and paint bombs of every shade imaginable hidden away in the old Trappers' Hut. We're going to kit ourselves out with balaclavas and ninja suits, then sneak down to Cartman's house and totally trash _every square inch_ of it." He leant back and gave a massive grin. "So, whatcha think?"

Tanwen paused, fully aware of Kid's bubbling enthusiasm beside her. "What do I think?"She said slowly, keeping her face perfectly straight. "I think... That's the best fucking idea I have seriously ever heard! I'm in!"

"Me too!" Kid almost screamed.

"Me three," Angelica said with a wink.

Addy nodded, her eyes glinting above her crafty smirk. "Sounds good. Alright. Meet you in the old Trappers' Hut, sharp."

Even Tweek was grinning nervously.

Craig's bright indigo eyes shone through the eye-slit in his balaclava as he weighed the paint bomb in one hand, as if admiring its bright blue colour. Apart from their eyes and the difference between the feminine and male shapes, the group all looked completely identical in their pitch-black ninja costumes and balaclavas. Tanwen, sitting nearest to the door (she had been charged with the task of keeping the hyperactive Tweek quiet throughout the operation) could tell Craig was grinning through the material of his mask.

"Alright, we all know what we're doing," he said quietly. "If someone gets caught by the police, we run and leave them behind, and if they dob us in, we beat the shit out of them. Got that?"

There was a low murmur of approval throughout the group, and Tweek flinched from the pressure.

"If we all get caught, we fight like fucking _possessed_ demons, and get the hell outta there. If Cartman catches us, we completely throw every bit of ammunition we have at him, and make sure we don't miss."

A louder, more cheerful ripple of applause. "Hear, hear!" shouted Token, the only identifiable person there.

"And if Cartman's mum catches us, just leg it. She won't be able to recognise us and she's probably whoring away in her bedroom anyway." A few people jeered in the group.

"Alright." Craig leapt down from the old wooden crate. "Let's rock' n 'roll, people!"

**Pffft. I love TPing people's houses. Don't do it at home, kids!**

**Oh, yeah. Just reminding you SOUTH PARK AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME. Apart from Kid, Addy, Angelica and Tanwen. THEY'RE MINE.**


	6. Children of the Cult

I AM CONTINUING THIS STORY AT MY OWN WEBSITE, .COM. IT WILL **NOT** BE CONTINUED HERE - IF YOU LIKE "_CHILDREN OF THE CULT_" PLEASE CONTINUE READING IT AND .COM.

ALSO, PLEASE CONSIDER JOINING AUTHORBOOK! IT'S EASIER TO USE THAN .


End file.
